In her bones

A mother’s tired is in her bones.

It’s her normal.

It’s something her body becomes used to, even though her mind doesn’t.

And it doesn’t just start in the postpartum period with her first child.

It starts much earlier than that.

Her tired is born before the baby she grows inside of her is.

As every part of her energy goes into forming human life, she is left feeling exhausted. And then she often can’t sleep because of insomnia, what seems like an internal wresting match, or her bladder.

And when it comes to bringing human life earth side, her exhaustion moves up to a notch she didn’t know she had. No matter how her birth story writes itself, it requires so much from her physically, and mentally.

So she goes into motherhood tired. Worn out. Exhausted beyond belief.

Then postpartum hits. Her body is still healing, facing an exhaustion like she’s never known, yet she keeps going.

Night after night her body is pushed to the limits to feed, settle, help her newborn baby adjust into a new world in her arms and an old world which at times seems out of her reach.

And even when the fourth trimester is over, there is still no guarantee of rest. Not of the level she requires anyway. Her baby, toddler or preschooler may still be wakeful, and the demands of her growing babies who become more mobile asks a lot from her.

But that’s not where the exhaustion ends either. It carries on with her, for as long as her babies need her. For as long as her mind, time and energy is not really her own.

A mother’s tired is deep.

It’s in her bones.

And it’s an exhaustion only those who live it know.

But her love is even deeper.

It’s why every single bit of tired is worth it.

It’s why her efforts are possible at all.