Overdue Mama

Overdue mama, ⠀

It’s been a long wait hasn’t it?
The days are passing by at snail pace, and waiting for the clock hand to reach a new hour is like watching paint dry.
You’re tired and over being over it.
You thought they would be here by now,
But they’re not.
And as you field calls and messages from others about their arrival only to tell them once again that nothing’s changed, your impatience grows. ⠀

I know you know, ⠀

You know they will be here in the next few days or weeks, they have to be, but thinking that doesn’t really make it any easier.
You just want them to be here now, to hold them, to see them, to know that they are ok.

You know they will come when they are ready, of course they will, but you have been ready for weeks now.
You have cleaned your home when it doesn’t need it and have rearranged your hospital bag too many times to count, just in case today is the day. ⠀

You know you will be even more tired when they arrive, but that’s a different sort of tired. Not a tiredness of carrying them inside without the unknowns of what’s to come, but a tiredness of carrying them with your arms, your eyes, every breath, knowing exactly how worth it it is. ⠀

You know that you should make the most of this last little window of opportunity to rest, read and go for walks, of your current before the change, but you struggle to muster the energy.
Walking can be painful, lying down is uncomfortable and being in the current is just not that enjoyable anymore. ⠀

I know you’re trying to move things along naturally, to avoid this current scenario, but nothing is working and you are now questioning yourself.
You wonder if your dates are wrong, whether you could have done something differently and doubt your intuition that fed you a much different story earlier. ⠀

Overdue mama,
I know you know,
Because I know too.
I know it’s hard, it seems unfair and it’s testing you.
I know you feel bad about complaining and venting but can’t help it.
I know you’re beyond grateful and excited for what’s to come but sometimes the current wait consumes you. ⠀

But I also know,
And I know you know it too,
That it’s better late than never. ⠀