There you are,⠀
Looking at me as if I am everything you dreamed of. Your kind of perfection. Naïve to my insecurities and weaknesses.⠀
Soaking me in, unconditionally.⠀
Read MoreYou start inside,
Brewing away, longing to be released.
You climb upwards,
From the pit beneath, to the windows to the world.
Read MoreI know I don’t say it sometimes, but I’m grateful for you. ⠀
You carry more than just her on your shoulders, even though some days that feels enough. ⠀
You carry me when I need it, even when I don’t know I do. ⠀
You help carry us as a family, sometimes making me forget how heavy the load can be.⠀
Read MorePlease don’t wake, not yet,⠀
There’s more I need to do,⠀
Like the washing, the dishes, and dinner,⠀
Just to name a few.
Read MoreYour legs wrap around me, but not like they used to. ⠀
They are not as light now and they no longer tuck neatly under my arms and chest. ⠀
Your feet either dangle below my waistline or nearly meet each other on my opposite hip.⠀
Read MoreWe are privileged to live in a country with clean rivers, swimmable oceans and beautiful walks. It shouldn’t be easy to forget, but sometimes it proves to be with the variety of technologies available from our household. From television, laptops, cellphones and tablets there is no shortage of information available at our fingertips.
Read MoreThere is nothing better than watching you sleep. I could watch you do it forever.
You are comfortably surrounded by waffle duvet and crinkled sheets, with your arms stretched out as wide as possible to enjoy every inch of the bed you sometimes find yourself in in the early hours of the morning.
Read MoreIt’s the moments like these that make my heart stop for a moment.
The two of you cuddling in the early hours of the morning while I am having a cup of tea.
Read MoreFrom beneath me you grizzle, as if to say, “mum please give me more attention”.
Often your little hands grasp onto my pants and continue to pull at me, as if to say, “mum please come and play with me”.
Read MoreIt’s not just you that’s learning. It’s the two of us learning together. ⠀ ⠀
You learn I’m your safe place, while I learn to protect.⠀ ⠀
You learn to latch, while I learn to breastfeed.⠀ ⠀
Read MoreAnd just like that, everything in her world changed.⠀
She was overwhelmed with emotion as she tried to figure it all out in the few seconds after they met.
There is no “alone” in “motherhood”. ⠀
Sometimes you cannot relate to another mother’s experience and in that moment you can sometimes feel alone. ⠀
Read MoreIt’s amazing how it can all happen so quickly, even when the days and nights sometimes feel so long. ⠀
The days are long but the years are short. ⠀
Rising, with your eyes not awake quickly enough.⠀
Moving to the cries, with your feet not yet operating quietly enough.⠀
Consoling, with your voice not yet controlled enough. ⠀
Cradling, with your body not yet strong enough. ⠀
Finger smudges on the mirrors;⠀
Toilet paper roads through the house;⠀
“Mum mum mum” on repeat;⠀
Muddy footprints on the carpet;⠀
Crayon marks on the walls;⠀
Read MoreNormally when 11.00am hits, I keep myself busy while I wait for those little cries to stop. I boil the kettle, unload the dishwasher, put some washing on or sort the pantry. I do anything to distract myself from those stressful pre-sleep grizzles. Then when all is silent, I’m calm knowing that she is relaxed. It is like a weight is lifted off my shoulders.
Read MoreDo you ever imagine what motherhood would look like without the tired factor? ⠀ ⠀
I do.⠀ ⠀
The early morning wakes wouldn’t matter.⠀ The endless “pick me ups” would be fine.⠀ The late nights for “me time” wouldn’t come at a cost.⠀ I dream of this now as I navigate through the sleep training methods and the lockdown.⠀ But that’s all it is, a dream.⠀
Read MoreChildren are like mirrors, they reflect what they see. The good, the bad, and the embarrassing.⠀
They are our shadows while they are small. Listening to our tone, watching our mannerisms and replicating our style.⠀
Read MoreWe sat in the quiet room waiting for something you didn’t know we were waiting for.⠀
⠀
You were smiling and wriggling, trying to escape from my tight locked arms around you. You were so blissfully unaware of what was about to come. ⠀